Self Denial

“You are worth it,” cajoled the old commercial for the more expensive hair coloring. So the product was purchased, and applied with no seemingly greater benefit than other color products. Then its self indulgent purchaser relishing self importance went to church and sang, “Would he devote that sacred head for such a worm as I?”

The contradiction is not trivial, but conveys two extremely different views of reality. Given the self esteem movement of our age, one has no difficulty in seeing which view prevails today. And that disposition has made religion into something to be marketed in the same way as hair coloring, as something to indulge, satisfy, and please the customer.

I remember some early roots of all this. It was a remark in a psychology class. I have too carelessly repeated it myself. The professor said, “The Bible says to love your neighbor as yourself. In order to do that you have to love yourself first.” Self love. It was a seed idea to the self indulgence of a generation spoiled by prosperity, where children reared with constant gratification never learned to think of others. If self love leads to kindness to others, we ought to be living in the most generous, benign, and loving age ever.

The first problem with that interpretation about love is that it is perceived to be speaking of how we feel about self, and thus neighbor. It is not. It is talking about acting toward my neighbor as myself. It is talking about consideration and treatment, not feeling. In our age, it is enough to feel. But the thought really is similar to: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Or as Paul wrote, “Not looking each of you to his own things, but each of you also to the things of others” (Phil. 2:4). Instead of focusing on my self, my pleasure, my wants, let me consider myself in relation to others and how my actions will impact them.

But must I be filled with self loathing? How do I balance “such a worm as I,” with being “raised up to sit with Christ in heavenly places?” Simple. There is an order. In my sin I have destroyed the nature bestowed upon me by a Gracious God, and in doing that I have sinned against him. I lowered my status from image of God to worm. But breaking the spirit of pride and humbling myself in repentance, I seek the pardon of a willing Savior, and ever after live humbly and gratefully, knowing I have been lifted up by grace and forgiveness. Filled with gratitude, I know peace flowing like a river. Now let me behave toward others as God has toward me.

Instead of thinking about what I want, what will give me pleasure, however it may affect others, let me consider my responsibility first to God, then others. Then I shall have occasion to look at myself and find someone I can live with and respect. Folks who think first of self, who do what they want regardless of others, are as unlike Christ as they can be. “Have this mind in you,” the apostle wrote, and then spoke of Christ’s surrender of his God-formness to become human and give his life for us. That comes right after telling me not to think only of my own things. It helps me to comply with Jesus’ requirement that I deny self. Not very popular today, but it will be a most valued quality in the day of judgment. -- Dale Smelser